It's been a not-so-beautiful week in the neighborhood, and I've had to rethink my whole way of dealing (or not dealing) with the world. Not to mention the fact that B. and I have different philosophies on what to keep private, what to keep public, what to disclose, what to withhold. Recent events have startled me into realizing that I might have a tendency to be a bit too trusting, a bit too open. But I also don't want to change what I feel is a fundamentally good way to approach the world and the people around me -- with love and trust. I feel like if you put it out there, it comes back to you. Is that so naive?
It's a struggle.
And having a blog is a struggle, too. B. wants me to make it a private thing, but for me one of the fundamental pleasures of keeping an online journal is its accessability to strangers. I like reading other people's blogs, and I like them to read mine. It's part of the fun of it all, building up a readership. I don't write this thing just for me. I write it for the person who stumbles by, and likes it so much she adds a bookmark so she can come back tomorrow. If I didn't feel that was happening, or could happen, it just wouldn't be worth it to me.
But I have kids, and B., and "anything you say can and will be used against you..."
I just don't know.