I can't imagine a better father for my children. Thank you for everything you do, we are all so lucky to have you in our lives.
Sunday, June 20, 2004
Daddy-O
I can't imagine a better father for my children. Thank you for everything you do, we are all so lucky to have you in our lives.
Saturday, June 19, 2004
Lessons in Sleep Deprivation
B: It smells like sex in here.
S: Maybe that's because this is the place we usually have sex.
B: Ages ago.
S: We had sex last night.
B: We did?
S: Oh my God, not again.
B: Really? Was I asleep?
S: Apparently.
B: Was it good?
S: Maybe that's because this is the place we usually have sex.
B: Ages ago.
S: We had sex last night.
B: We did?
S: Oh my God, not again.
B: Really? Was I asleep?
S: Apparently.
B: Was it good?
Sunday, June 13, 2004
Words, Words, Words
Javi said "Brian" for the first time today. Or at least it was the first time I ever heard it.
He also says:
Dog
Mine
Nose
Uh-oh
Mama
Daddy
Eli
Jack
No
Yay!
Up
Down
Juice
Hi
Bye
Poop
And really, what else matters?
He also says:
Dog
Mine
Nose
Uh-oh
Mama
Daddy
Eli
Jack
No
Yay!
Up
Down
Juice
Hi
Bye
Poop
And really, what else matters?
Saturday, June 12, 2004
Whip it, Whip it Good
Stress level is at an all-time high, behind on my work, house a mess, children a constant demand, money tight, body falling apart...
But it's all going to be okay because I have this to put in my coffee:
It's the whipped cream in a can of the snobby foodie set. Mmmmm.
French required.
But it's all going to be okay because I have this to put in my coffee:
It's the whipped cream in a can of the snobby foodie set. Mmmmm.
French required.
Friday, June 11, 2004
How Sweet It Is
Brian, inspired by C. Monks' Ronald Reagan Memorial Toaster, has created a tribute of his own. You can see it at utter wonder.
Happy Ronald Reagan Memorial Day, everyone!
Happy Ronald Reagan Memorial Day, everyone!
The Horror!
If there's anything worse than hearing the endless blather about Ronald Reagan saving the world from the evil empire and his endless optimism and his fantastic one liners and his belief in the free market, it's hearing THE VOICE OF MARGARET THATCHER ON MY RADIO. Sweet Jesus, I thought these people had gone away, already. If we'd played "Dead or Not?" and her name had come up I might have said "dead." Sadly, I would have been wrong.
Quick! Get out the Ray Charles CD's. Now THAT is someone worth mourning.
Quick! Get out the Ray Charles CD's. Now THAT is someone worth mourning.
Thursday, June 10, 2004
Wednesday, June 09, 2004
Wednesday Morning 3 A.M.
Isn't that a Simon and Garfunkel album?
SCENE
Bedroom. Dark. A woman sleeping in the bed. A man enters the room.
B: There goes the 3:30 train.
S: ...
B: Did you hear me?
S: You said "there goes the 3:30 train."
B: You didn't move a muscle.
S: ...
B: The girls are sleeping upstairs. They tag teamed me all night.
S: You should have woken me up at midnight. I told you to wake me up if you couldn't get them to go down.
B: You were in here sleeping like a log. Your mouth was open, you were stiff as a board.
S: That's what I look like when I'm sleeping.
B: You were dead to the world.
S: Well I'm sorry you were up all night with them.
B: Be careful of the carpet at the bottom of the stairs, it's wet. Hamish shit in the house.
S: Did you scream and curse?
B: You heard me!
S: No, I can just imagine it. "Godamnit motherfucking asshole!"
B: You DID wake up!
S: I just know you really well.
B: Oh you do, do you? What am I thinking right now?
S: (Projecting) You're thinking shut up and go to sleep.
B: No, I'm thinking about sex.
S: Mmmf. (pause) That should be my standard answer. You're thinking about sex.
B: I watched this movie with Darryl Hannah and that actress we like.
S: ...
B: Holly Hunter?
S: We like Holly Hunter.
B: All movies should have Holly Hunter in them. Naked.
S: Mmmmf.
B: And that guy who has horses and runs that film festival.
S: Robert Redford. (pause). "Legal Eagles." Debra Winger.
B: Right! Debra Winger! I thought her accent sounded funny.
S: It's like...Deception Trivia.
B: (Laughs)
S: Try to guess the answer in spite of the fucked up question. I should win a prize.
SCENE
Bedroom. Dark. A woman sleeping in the bed. A man enters the room.
B: There goes the 3:30 train.
S: ...
B: Did you hear me?
S: You said "there goes the 3:30 train."
B: You didn't move a muscle.
S: ...
B: The girls are sleeping upstairs. They tag teamed me all night.
S: You should have woken me up at midnight. I told you to wake me up if you couldn't get them to go down.
B: You were in here sleeping like a log. Your mouth was open, you were stiff as a board.
S: That's what I look like when I'm sleeping.
B: You were dead to the world.
S: Well I'm sorry you were up all night with them.
B: Be careful of the carpet at the bottom of the stairs, it's wet. Hamish shit in the house.
S: Did you scream and curse?
B: You heard me!
S: No, I can just imagine it. "Godamnit motherfucking asshole!"
B: You DID wake up!
S: I just know you really well.
B: Oh you do, do you? What am I thinking right now?
S: (Projecting) You're thinking shut up and go to sleep.
B: No, I'm thinking about sex.
S: Mmmf. (pause) That should be my standard answer. You're thinking about sex.
B: I watched this movie with Darryl Hannah and that actress we like.
S: ...
B: Holly Hunter?
S: We like Holly Hunter.
B: All movies should have Holly Hunter in them. Naked.
S: Mmmmf.
B: And that guy who has horses and runs that film festival.
S: Robert Redford. (pause). "Legal Eagles." Debra Winger.
B: Right! Debra Winger! I thought her accent sounded funny.
S: It's like...Deception Trivia.
B: (Laughs)
S: Try to guess the answer in spite of the fucked up question. I should win a prize.
Monday, June 07, 2004
Kill Me Now
I'm on hold with the mortgage company and it's the same 3 minute loop of upbeat saxy poppy jazz crap over and over and fucking over again. This is ME waiting to pay THEM money. They should pay me for having to listen to this shit. Why don't companies give you a Silence option? I would so totally opt for silence over this.
In other news, Javier's head is so big it is literally off the charts. The rest of him is 95-97th percentile. We are NOT moving as planned just yet due to...well...I'll spare you. But we're not. The girls are cooing and smiling and almost laughing -- Carrie makes this sort of gasping laughy sound if you nuzzle her on the neck or tickle her ribs.
Oh! They picked up after 15 minutes. Gotta go.
In other news, Javier's head is so big it is literally off the charts. The rest of him is 95-97th percentile. We are NOT moving as planned just yet due to...well...I'll spare you. But we're not. The girls are cooing and smiling and almost laughing -- Carrie makes this sort of gasping laughy sound if you nuzzle her on the neck or tickle her ribs.
Oh! They picked up after 15 minutes. Gotta go.
Friday, June 04, 2004
Reason #327 Why I Love Texas
Seriously. If I felt compelled to send my children to Vacation Bible School, I think it would have to be Lava Lava Island(TM), because I want to witness Jesus' love flowing like hot lava all over the little children...
*shudder*
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