Life in the Big City

Calling the Saint of Lost Voices

Several weeks ago I lost my voice. Not completely, I can still carry on a conversation, talk on the phone, whatever. But I can't sing, can't really talk to someone in a noisy restaurant, can't call my dog over from the neighbor's yard, can't yell at my kids in a threatening manner, and I sound pathetic. Not gravelly and sexy like Lauren Bacall, just pathetic. And it isn't going away. This was before the strep kicked in, mind you. Did I mention the strep? My entire family, not to mention boyfriend, ex husband, and friend, has come down with this lovely ailment. And I have had it not once, but TWICE, in rapid succession. I was two days off the amoxicillin when I came down with it again and had to call in the troops (Brian) to come all the way back from Houston so he could drive to the pharmacy and get my drugs (Z pack this time! Love that stuff) and then put my kids to bed. Brian gets a big gold star for coming back to save my ass. I had to tear him away from his mother and grandmother. Really, the only good news in all of this is that babies don't get strep. Or, at least what I've heard is that they very rarely get strep, so I'm still ever watchful over little Javier.

But wasn't I talking about my voice? Oh, yeah. So, I'm becoming paranoid. I'm not given to hypochondria. If anything, I'm given to whatever the opposite of hypchondria is -- lackadasia? Whatever. I don't freak out when I get sick. I don't think this mole which has appeared on the side of my torso is a sign of cancer (unlike SOME people I know, whose names will not be mentioned, you know who you are). But this loss-of-voice thing is freaking me out. And no one else seems very concerned about it, even the previously unmentioned one. He's not worried about it. My father isn't worried about it either. People who I talk to on the phone seem totally oblivious to the fact that I sound TOTALLY different. And no one's rushing up to me in church to exclaim, "what happened to your lovely dulcet tones?" Of course, we haven't been to church much lately, so that could account for something. Anyway, I'm having this terrible feeling like it's never going to come back, and I'm going to have this voice forever. This voice which apparently makes me sound exactly like one of Brian's ex-girlfriends. And not an ex-girlfriend I'd particularly like to emulate, either. No, an ex-girlfriend I've pretty much snickered over. Apparently we sound exactly alike, especially on the phone, and he wishes he had a recording of her voice so he could play it for me. That would be fun. Is there a Saint of Lost Voices? I want mine back.